BabycardsNow.co.uk Article | Motherhood - A New Mum

You both look longingly at your baby. Sure, his head appears to be slightly out of proportion to the rest of his body, his skin a little red and his hair seems to have adopted the look of a mad professor but he is very cute. That is until he lets loose a piercing cry with amazing intensity which would put any soprano singer to shame. The fun has just started. You think back to a few months ago to when you confidently announced your happy news and informed people “we’re having a baby, but it won’t change our lives”. You begin to regret ever uttering these words. You have only been home a few hours and already your baby has taken over top spot in the household. A dawn of realisation draws over you, your life has changed. Subtle differences over the next few weeks will begin to reinforce this change. Spontaneous meet ups or events are no longer possible. Everything has to be meticulously planned around your baby’s feeding, sleeping and playtimes. Previously you would never venture out without your handbag, now the nappy bag has become your number one accessory. It bulges with embarrassment as you cram every possible baby item you may need for every conceivable eventuality for the few hours you are out.

During the first couple of months of becoming a Mum you’ll also find yourself in the midst of an identity crisis. Once you had a name in your own right but now you are constantly introduced as “Sarah’s mum”. You silently wonder if you have a first name and if you will ever be addressed by it again! In addition, you have to learn to deal with your fluctuating emotions. Once you resolved situations practically and logically, now you have an irrational thought process which blows even the tiniest event out of all proportion. Although, women are renowned for being the more emotional sex you wonder how someone can spontaneously burst into tears as often as you do. It has to be said sleep deprivation and tiredness undoubtedly contribute to your fragile state as can the feeling of isolation. Rest assured, it is perfectly normal and you are not going mad. It is said that the average young baby cries two to three hours each day and I would say this statistic could also be applied to many new Mums. Often, the crying will usually come for no apparent reason and what’s worse still will be difficult to stop!

 

Coupled with an already heightened emotional state, a mother also has to come to terms with their new physical state of being. We all had a pre-conceived notion once we gave birth we would miraculously fit into our pre-maternity wardrobe. Wrong! Quite the opposite occurs. Glossy magazines are quite happy to dampen the normal Mums self-esteem as they display features of celebrity Mums just weeks after giving birth looking fresh faced in the latest designer size zero outfits!

 

In the first few months Mums really do not want for much. We have mentally prepared ourselves for the sacrifices we will have to make and in the majority of cases willingly accept these. However, there does come a point when simple recognition and acknowledgement for a job well done is much appreciated. In a home environment you are your own boss. There are no pats on the back from fellow workers. Instead we are filled with guilt if we even consider having some time out for ourselves. Guilt is an all consuming emotion which is felt by all Mums at one stage or another. We feel guilty when we give up breastfeeding, we feel guilty when we go back to work and guilty for not spending as much time as possible with our new baby. But we must at some stage bury the guilt. A happy Mum invariably means a happy baby and from time to time it is both important and necessary to consider your own needs. Simple things like getting your hair done or buying a new dress go a long way in boosting a Mum’s self esteem. Taking pride in your appearance also does wonders for your self-confidence. Yes, of course there are the days when you will gladly lounge around the house in your baggy tracksuit pants and that’s fine (as long as it’s not every day), but when you do venture out make a little extra effort. Why? Because it will make you feel good about yourself!

As well as coping with new emotions and our physical changes we also have to adjust to our new daily tasks and routines which keep forever changing as our baby develops. Just when you have mastered the first stage of feeding, the next stage of introducing solids rapidly approaches and routines and tasks change all over again. Some Mums love the excitement of introducing solids whilst others are quite content with the pure only milk diet. However, there is no getting away from weaning and to fully embrace this period of motherhood invest in a good blender, stacks of ice cube trays, plenty of freezer bags and clear space in your freezer to store enough food to feed a small army! Also, a good recipe book will prove invaluable. It will provide you with advice on when and what foods to introduce to your new baby as well as meal plans and an endless supply of recipes for food combinations you would have never put together!

 

When you first begin introducing solids to your baby it is exciting as you watch with amusement the amazing faces your baby makes as they taste a new food for the first time. However, as your baby begins to eat more you realise you are going to have to go into production if you want to keep up with your baby’s demands and make life easier for yourself! You spend hours slogging away, blending, mixing, scooping, tasting, labelling, bagging and freezing to provide your little one with their own a la carte menu. No wonder Mums get upset when their baby starts throwing their food around or worse still spitting it out! You also have the joy of giving them their first taste of independence by providing them with their own cutlery which just results in them having extra ammunition to throw your food even further! Mealtimes can be a challenging time for both babies and parents. Both are strong willed and determined to get their own way. The mother cunningly mixes yoghurt with every savoury meal in an effort to get their child to eat their lovingly prepared food, whilst the child quite happily cements their mouth shut as if it has been super glued together.

 

As well as the weaning of food, at some point there also comes a mother’s decision to stop breastfeeding. Giving up anything is not easy as it forms the end of an era. Most Mums wrestle with the decision of when to stop and once they decide to give up are faced with the choice of going cold turkey or siding with the withdrawal method. Unless you have some medical reason the withdrawal method would be the preferred choice as you reduce feeds slowly over a period of time. It is far less painful than the method of going cold turkey, which requires determination, discomfort and plenty of support for both you and your breasts!