The Pain and Pleasure of Motherhood - Wean vs Work

Working Mums

Most new Mums nowadays come to motherhood in their thirties and many have been used to having a career and work responsibilities. Today, many Mums with children are found back in the work place. The decision to return to work is not an easy one, but sometimes there is no option. Some women may have carved out a successful career for themselves which they cannot afford to lose, whilst others must work out of pure economic necessity. Some Mums are just not cut out to be a parent 24/7. They feel isolated and trapped in the home with their young infant and so a return to work, even on a part-time basis may prove a necessity which is best for them and their baby.

The guilt of returning to work is hard enough but then there is the monumental decision of choosing childcare. The good childcare centres are naturally full and to stand any chance of your child attending you practically have to put your baby’s name down on the waiting list before they have even being conceived! Whilst most centres now are purpose built and have lovely new decor and facilities for the children the most important aspect to go on is how the place feels. Gut instinct is usually right and if you get a warm, fuzzy feeling from the place, then sign up. If not, move on. You will eventually find a centre which feels right for both you and your baby. Give yourself plenty of time though as the last thing you need is to feel pressured about your decision.

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Choosing Childcare

When you first leave your little one at childcare, your heart aches like it has never done before. Regardless of how good the childcare is, be prepared for separation issues. As you enter the centre, tears run down your baby’s face as they are aware they are going to be left. You feel your baby’s grip tighten around your neck and when you go to put your baby down, they cling on with such brute force. You try and peel an arm from you but it comes back fast and grips on tighter than before. Eventually, you break free and dash for the door. You hear your baby’s cries as you open the door and it takes all your strength not to retreat or look back. This is perfectly normal for most Mums. In the first few days, or even sometimes weeks the drop off and pick up at childcare can be a traumatic affair. You leave amidst tears and return hours later to more tears. Although at the time it may not feel like it’s the case most children are quite happy in childcare once they get used to it.

Being a working mum is not easy. Let’s face it you now essentially have 3 jobs: a mother, a housekeeper and paid work, often for only a half decent wage. No union boss would accept these conditions for its members but as Mums it’s something we put up with. Working and caring for your children is not easy. You race from work to childcare and then childcare to home, are often tired, have a meal to cook, get the house in some sort of order whilst trying to spend some quality time with your baby! Trying to fit everything in is exhausting and these split roles make parents feel extremely guilty. There is no easy answer to this but if you have fewer hours together as a family just make sure you make the best of what you have. Spend time together at weekends as a family and not in the company of the washing machine or ironing board!

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